








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 477 matches | ||
| Wingman | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3022 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5514 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5337 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4057 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,196,192 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 842 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperthorical | 55% | 86 |
| #2 | ◔◡◔Breasticles | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | بيج ماك ضخم كبير | 44% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperthorical | 55% | 86 |
| #2 | ◔◡◔Breasticles | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | بيج ماك ضخم كبير | 44% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | بيج ماك ضخم كبير | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Hyperthorical | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ◔◡◔Breasticles | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◔◡◔Breasticles | 92 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hyperthorical | 71 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | بيج ماك ضخم كبير | 45 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Testicleis | +1.68 | 63 | 48 |
| #2 | Hyperthorical | +1.03 | 68 | 49 |
| #3 | ◔◡◔Breasticles | -0.87 | 55 | 50 |
| #4 | بيج ماك ضخم كبير | -1.91 | 59 | 22 |





