








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,764 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 504 | 18% |
| Smokes | 559 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 919 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,797 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FcKiNg No0ob | 43% | 88 |
| #3 | FAKHRY | 43% | 14 |
| #4 | 0d1n | 42% | 91 |
| #5 | housyy | 41% | 104 |
| #6 | DeJJJooo | 38% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeJJJooo | 21 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | FcKiNg No0ob | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | housyy | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 0d1n | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | FAKHRY | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0d1n | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | DeJJJooo | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | housyy | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | FcKiNg No0ob | 81 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | FAKHRY | 47 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0d1n | +1.67 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | DeJJJooo | +0.98 | 39 | 64 |
| #3 | FcKiNg No0ob | -0.34 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | housyy | -0.76 | 86 | 46 |
| #5 | BARJIS | -1.30 | 36 | 43 |





