








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 784 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,258 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1558 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1127 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 4664 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 2909 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,266 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipfiar.com | 42% | 43 |
| #2 | Herb Shiesty | 39% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipfiar.com | 42% | 43 |
| #2 | Herb Shiesty | 39% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herb Shiesty | 17 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | hipfiar.com | 5 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hipfiar.com | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Herb Shiesty | 69 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyan | +0.31 | 46 | 30 |
| #2 | Herb Shiesty | +0.29 | 27 | 32 |
| #3 | hipfiar.com | +0.28 | 26 | 44 |





