








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,919 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2760 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2568 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2396 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1195 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,878 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxey | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | 240hz HS | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Cadbury | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | MrSonicMouse | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Poxeyyyyy | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 240hz HS | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Cadbury | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | MrSonicMouse | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Poxeyyyyy | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | MON | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxeyyyyy | 6 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | Poxey | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | 240hz HS | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | MrSonicMouse | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poxey | 95 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cadbury | 63 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | 240hz HS | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | MrSonicMouse | 61 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Poxeyyyyy | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 240hz HS | +3.76 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Cadbury | +2.60 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | Poxeyyyyy | +2.25 | 84 | 65 |
| #4 | Poxey | +1.42 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | Lasss | +0.76 | 70 | 54 |





