








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 121 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2756 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1964 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2431 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2987 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,478 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 544 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orange | 68 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | ArkAdditional | 26 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | Jinx | 20 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | Grapee | 16 | 0.0238 |
| #5 | BLOON✞ | 9 | 0.0111 |





