








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1751 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1459 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3318 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2594 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,885,823 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 489 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jzuzboi | 21 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Paitard | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Subaru Outback BH | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Avery | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Evolver | 4 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paitard | 1047 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | Avery | 336 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | jzuzboi | 252 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | p13tt3 | 214 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Subaru Outback BH | 188 | 0.08 | 6 min |





