








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 139 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1581 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1060 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1029 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,311 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.T.Z. | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | cutefoxpuppy | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | ɹıɐɥƆ | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.T.Z. | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | cutefoxpuppy | 46% | 37 |
| #3 | ɹıɐɥƆ | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.T.Z. | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | cutefoxpuppy | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ɹıɐɥƆ | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D.T.Z. | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | cutefoxpuppy | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #3 | ɹıɐɥƆ | 8 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jmc | +2.96 | 67 | 54 |
| #2 | ɹıɐɥƆ | +2.49 | 44 | 19 |
| #3 | D.T.Z. | -3.17 | 10 | 37 |
| #4 | cutefoxpuppy | -3.93 | 15 | 12 |





