








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1295 | 35% |
| Smokes | 834 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 858 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,634 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gummie~ | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | suze | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gummie~ | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | suze | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suze | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | gummie~ | 3 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suze | 186 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | gummie~ | 70 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suze | +1.22 | 58 | 56 |
| #2 | Bonus | +1.17 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | gummie~ | -2.58 | 50 | 55 |





