










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 69 | 21% |
| Smokes | 70 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 90 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 107 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $68,370 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Grønlænderen | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | mertzk1Ng | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | illmurderyou | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | patrick | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Creakz | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mertzk1Ng | 2 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | patrick | 1 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Creakz | 1 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | Grønlænderen | 1 | 0.0227 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mertzk1Ng | 25 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | illmurderyou | 19 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | patrick | 15 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Creakz | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | Grønlænderen | 6 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grønlænderen | +7.97 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | mertzk1Ng | +4.89 | 94 | 67 |
| #3 | patrick | +4.43 | 95 | 56 |
| #4 | illmurderyou | +0.77 | 87 | 47 |
| #5 | Hoffi | -0.40 | 70 | 37 |





