








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 358 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 351 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4843 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4282 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3529 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2895 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,750,365 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AnztaHei | 52% | 262 |
| #6 | Jare | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | edmNd | 50% | 48 |
| #8 | Smule?! | 50% | 62 |
| #9 | pool | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ornitologi | 544 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | AnztaHei | 536 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | 429 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #4 | Jare | 341 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #5 | pool | 168 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | edmNd | +3.41 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ | +0.94 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | SuolaneBanaani | +0.55 | 78 | 65 |
| #4 | Smule?! | +0.30 | 72 | 52 |
| #5 | AnztaHei | +0.25 | 75 | 67 |





