








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1906 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1782 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2358 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1441 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,842 of utility $42 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalafhkala | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | KOLOBOK | 49% | 191 |
| #3 | mad | 49% | 360 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalafhkala | 58% | 52 |
| #2 | KOLOBOK | 49% | 191 |
| #3 | mad | 49% | 360 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad | 41 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | KOLOBOK | 28 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | kalafhkala | 3 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad | 541 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | KOLOBOK | 254 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | kalafhkala | 22 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mad | +1.93 | 54 | 55 |
| #2 | spookiu | +0.30 | 67 | 41 |
| #3 | KOLOBOK | -1.67 | 37 | 41 |
| #4 | kalafhkala | -2.23 | 26 | 21 |





