








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,297 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1591 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2237 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1973 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,443 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Malo | 52% | 48 |
| #2 | Saw341 | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | P@PY | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | AzaLoad | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Gabatsho | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TOPAZE | +1.94 | 44 | 29 |
| #2 | AzaLoad | +1.84 | 60 | 52 |
| #3 | Gabatsho | +0.78 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | Captain Malo | -0.04 | 47 | 43 |
| #5 | P@PY | -1.95 | 28 | 52 |





