








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2210 | 25% |
| Smokes | 743 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2743 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $283,877 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurgle | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | Am1R | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | Parasyte | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | ✪ supreme | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurgle | 55% | 71 |
| #2 | Am1R | 45% | 22 |
| #3 | Parasyte | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | ✪ supreme | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurgle | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ✪ supreme | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nurgle | 203 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪ supreme | 82 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Parasyte | 77 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Am1R | 74 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parasyte | +3.93 | 70 | 56 |
| #2 | Am1R | +0.93 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | Nurgle | +0.69 | 68 | 56 |
| #4 | vitals | +0.22 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | ✪ supreme | -2.03 | 82 | 59 |





