








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
885 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,651 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 36% |
| Smokes | 795 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 882 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 670 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,915 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Awesome | 50% | 74 |
| #2 | Willi | 43% | 53 |
| #3 | 0fset | 39% | 103 |
| #4 | s1n | 32% | 25 |
| #5 | BS | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Awesome | 50% | 74 |
| #2 | Willi | 43% | 53 |
| #3 | 0fset | 39% | 103 |
| #4 | s1n | 32% | 25 |
| #5 | BS | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willi | 24 | 0.0222 |
| #2 | 0fset | 16 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Mr Awesome | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | s1n | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | BS | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0fset | 220 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | s1n | 158 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | Willi | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mr Awesome | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BS | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Awesome | +4.33 | 54 | 63 |
| #2 | s1n | +1.20 | 68 | 43 |
| #3 | 0fset | -0.72 | 55 | 37 |
| #4 | Willi | -0.83 | 38 | 47 |
| #5 | BS | -2.76 | 8 | 11 |





