








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 617 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4328 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7078 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6804 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4385 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,950,689 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas :-) | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | Pippi | 56% | 45 |
| #3 | Pixie | 53% | 190 |
| #4 | ♛OldemorDK♛ | 51% | 141 |
| #5 | Dullemundus | 44% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pixie | 53% | 190 |
| #4 | ♛OldemorDK♛ | 51% | 141 |
| #5 | Dullemundus | 44% | 63 |
| #6 | Maple | 36% | 50 |
| #7 | An4lsex | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pixie | 18 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | ♛OldemorDK♛ | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Dullemundus | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | An4lsex | 7 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Thomas :-) | 5 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pixie | 478 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dullemundus | 247 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | ♛OldemorDK♛ | 211 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Maple | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | An4lsex | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dullemundus | +1.21 | 41 | 58 |
| #2 | ✪TarteletMedEgenSovs✪ | -0.17 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | An4lsex | -0.19 | 39 | 57 |
| #4 | Maple | -0.52 | 36 | 46 |
| #5 | ♛OldemorDK♛ | -0.52 | 34 | 60 |





