








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1881 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 997 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1102 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 974 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 589 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,864 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10 PUSH UPS EVERY DEATH | 59% | 79 |
| #2 | CaptainCookie | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Chico | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | TheGulagIsALie | 58% | 84 |
| #5 | Sgt _Cookie | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 10 PUSH UPS EVERY DEATH | +5.27 | 86 | 34 |
| #2 | Chico | +2.58 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | Sgt _Cookie | +1.41 | 69 | 44 |
| #4 | Yoko | +0.75 | 72 | 40 |
| #5 | 愤怒的驼鹿 | +0.45 | 71 | 75 |





