








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2916 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1336 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1242 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1768 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1320 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,667 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Callan | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Phoenix main | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Pook | 53% | 158 |
| #4 | Marchy | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Kenny | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Pook | 53% | 158 |
| #4 | Marchy | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Kenny | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | Brighty | 49% | 63 |
| #7 | poocas luvr 69 | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pook | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Kenny | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Marchy | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | poocas luvr 69 | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Brighty | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kenny | 477 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #2 | Pook | 386 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Brighty | 215 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Phoenix main | 112 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #5 | Marchy | 67 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix main | +1.11 | 58 | 58 |
| #2 | Jeremy Clarkson | +0.98 | 69 | 46 |
| #3 | Kenny | +0.97 | 58 | 58 |
| #4 | Brighty | +0.78 | 56 | 48 |
| #5 | Callan | +0.66 | 55 | 55 |





