








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 188 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1154 | 32% |
| Smokes | 774 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 927 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,935 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonska | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | Not s1mple | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | π | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | β£Eijou88β£ | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | <3kehrÀÀvÀsetÀmies<3 | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π¦ππΎππ | 227 | 0.44 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jonska | 93 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Not s1mple | 79 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | π | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | β£Eijou88β£ | 16 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonska | +6.12 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | π | +3.77 | 58 | 41 |
| #3 | Not s1mple | +2.97 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | π¦ππΎππ | +1.04 | 48 | 58 |
| #5 | Topsu* | -0.41 | 57 | 53 |





