










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 647 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1071 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 380 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 724 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,965 of utility $274 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Weg.de | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | r0lf | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | Arnold Headclap | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | >abnormal< | 46% | 59 |
| #5 | purgatory | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >abnormal< | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | purgatory | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Arnold Headclap | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | r0lf | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Weg.de | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r0lf | +1.85 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | purgatory | +1.83 | 90 | 63 |
| #3 | Weg.de | +0.57 | 54 | 53 |
| #4 | >abnormal< | +0.50 | 51 | 61 |
| #5 | Arnold Headclap | -0.08 | 93 | 44 |





