








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 461 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 605 | 5% |
| Smokes | 2037 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4562 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 4467 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,457 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bum_Thunders | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Spykerwolf | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Danny | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Vicious Delicious | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | Jrd | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bum_Thunders | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | Spykerwolf | 54% | 26 |
| #3 | Danny | 47% | 45 |
| #4 | Vicious Delicious | 42% | 66 |
| #5 | Jrd | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vicious Delicious | 13 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Danny | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jrd | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Spykerwolf | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jrd | 127 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Vicious Delicious | 124 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Danny | 69 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bum_Thunders | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Spykerwolf | 25 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spykerwolf | +2.93 | 48 | 33 |
| #2 | Vicious Delicious | +2.20 | 69 | 59 |
| #3 | Bum_Thunders | +1.04 | 57 | 50 |
| #4 | Danny | -0.21 | 52 | 55 |
| #5 | Jrd | -0.94 | 52 | 58 |





