








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 288 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5338 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3751 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3361 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2681 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $538,047 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EL GOAT | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Cookie | 51% | 67 |
| #3 | Don_Papa | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Troùblé Shüter | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Schießbudenatze | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Don_Papa | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Troùblé Shüter | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Schießbudenatze | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | ₲ℴƬƬ | 34% | 32 |
| #7 | GanG>BanG<Uschi🔞 | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Troùblé Shüter | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ₲ℴƬƬ | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Schießbudenatze | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | EL GOAT | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cookie | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ₲ℴƬƬ | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Troùblé Shüter | 58 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Don_Papa | 57 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | EL GOAT | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Don_Papa | +2.77 | 45 | 67 |
| #2 | ₲ℴƬƬ | +1.06 | 39 | 52 |
| #3 | Troùblé Shüter | +0.45 | 36 | 57 |
| #4 | Schießbudenatze | -0.37 | 34 | 59 |
| #5 | Cookie | -0.72 | 46 | 59 |





