










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 374 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1358 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1115 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $953,281 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jadon_ | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | satellite- | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | bao^g | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jadon_ | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | satellite- | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | bao^g | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jadon_ | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | bao^g | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bao^g | 127 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | satellite- | 29 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | jadon_ | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satellite- | +2.64 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | luttrell | -0.89 | 70 | 45 |
| #3 | bao^g | -1.06 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | jadon_ | -1.55 | 54 | 34 |





