










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 287 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,213 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1200 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2312 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1035 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2666 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $641,170 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cynxcle™ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | MY TEAM IS SHIT | 49% | 266 |
| #3 | SlasherZ | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | SSW1SSH | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cynxcle™ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | MY TEAM IS SHIT | 49% | 266 |
| #3 | SlasherZ | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | SSW1SSH | 49% | 215 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MY TEAM IS SHIT | 41 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Cynxcle™ | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | SSW1SSH | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | SlasherZ | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SSW1SSH | 429 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | MY TEAM IS SHIT | 398 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | Cynxcle™ | 65 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | SlasherZ | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SSW1SSH | +3.37 | 79 | 64 |
| #2 | Cynxcle™ | +1.95 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | SlasherZ | -0.28 | 30 | 57 |
| #4 | MY TEAM IS SHIT | -0.96 | 39 | 46 |
| #5 | Uv | -2.42 | 16 | 47 |





