








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 395 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1177 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1604 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,578,152 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S´Ketamin | 51% | 49 |
| #2 | ᴡᴧᴅʟᴇᴙᴤᴛᴧʀᴋ | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | Pice™ | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | ☯𝕵aϻ͢͢͢al巛 | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S´Ketamin | 51% | 49 |
| #2 | ᴡᴧᴅʟᴇᴙᴤᴛᴧʀᴋ | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | Pice™ | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | ☯𝕵aϻ͢͢͢al巛 | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴡᴧᴅʟᴇᴙᴤᴛᴧʀᴋ | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | S´Ketamin | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Pice™ | 3 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴡᴧᴅʟᴇᴙᴤᴛᴧʀᴋ | 218 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | S´Ketamin | 70 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pice™ | 55 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | ☯𝕵aϻ͢͢͢al巛 | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴡᴧᴅʟᴇᴙᴤᴛᴧʀᴋ | +3.56 | 67 | 63 |
| #2 | ☯𝕵aϻ͢͢͢al巛 | +0.45 | 34 | 58 |
| #3 | S´Ketamin | +0.05 | 85 | 28 |
| #4 | TEKKNOTABLETTENTIKKER | -0.54 | 54 | 24 |
| #5 | Pice™ | -3.74 | 16 | 48 |





