








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 59 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1574 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2126 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1715 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1116 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1523 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,985 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delusions of grandeur | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Lipi | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Matrix_ayZ[TTFU] | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Vucko#12 | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | iGor | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delusions of grandeur | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Lipi | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Matrix_ayZ[TTFU] | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | Vucko#12 | 35% | 23 |
| #5 | iGor | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vucko#12 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lipi | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Matrix_ayZ[TTFU] | 40 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Vucko#12 | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Delusions of grandeur | 32 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | iGor | 16 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Delusions of grandeur | +3.65 | 61 | 70 |
| #2 | Matrix_ayZ[TTFU] | +1.53 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Coach | +0.65 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | Vucko#12 | -1.86 | 49 | 62 |
| #5 | Lipi | -2.45 | 42 | 84 |





