










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 370 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1034 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 817 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1014 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,019 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Forky | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | sh45 | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | ✪ KjellKjeltring | 48% | 48 |
| #6 | noisy | 42% | 12 |
| #7 | SO7O_ | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ propellkjell | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ✪ KjellKjeltring | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | noisy | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ propellkjell | 187 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ KjellKjeltring | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Forky | 52 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | sh45 | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | SO7O_ | 27 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forky | +3.69 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | Gjøsse | +1.41 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | noisy | +0.81 | 56 | 59 |
| #4 | ✪ propellkjell | -0.02 | 50 | 80 |
| #5 | SO7O_ | -0.30 | 55 | 77 |





