








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 708 | 27% |
| Smokes | 759 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 577 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,693 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eastern bird | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | PasY_Tyrant | 68% | 41 |
| #3 | y1dao | 67% | 39 |
| #4 | Surtr | 65% | 68 |
| #5 | 游舞. | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PasY_Tyrant | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Surtr | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | 游舞. | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | y1dao | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Eastern bird | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Surtr | 374 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | PasY_Tyrant | 243 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #3 | y1dao | 172 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | 游舞. | 163 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spy | 134 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Surtr | +3.16 | 73 | 60 |
| #2 | y1dao | +3.11 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | PasY_Tyrant | +2.26 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Eastern bird | +1.40 | 85 | 38 |
| #5 | 游舞. | +0.38 | 56 | 63 |





