








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 31% |
| Smokes | 668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 782 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 678 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $94,507 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TUBBY TOAST | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Larry | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | GetErektXD | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | mastercock | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Mini Sausage Larry | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mastercock | 4 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Mini Sausage Larry | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Larry | 2 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | TimikusT | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TimikusT | 60 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | H4CK3R MAN | 41 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | wezzy | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mini Sausage Larry | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Larry | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry | +7.22 | 77 | 55 |
| #2 | Mini Sausage Larry | +6.21 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | mastercock | +1.88 | 41 | 41 |
| #4 | TimikusT | +1.50 | 48 | 57 |
| #5 | TUBBY TOAST | +0.60 | 59 | 51 |





