








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 413 | 27% |
| Smokes | 417 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 318 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 392 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $267,803 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 420 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiserzy | 10 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | MrD* 🦈 | 9 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | Tatuujey | 9 | 0.0286 |
| #4 | Funnier | 7 | 0.0307 |
| #5 | Tadalafila de 20mg | 6 | 0.0229 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiserzy | 133 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | MrD* 🦈 | 69 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rfm; | 68 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tadalafila de 20mg | 60 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | LéO SóBriO | 33 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaiserzy | +5.63 | 74 | 81 |
| #2 | MrD* 🦈 | +4.34 | 86 | 45 |
| #3 | Funnier | +3.70 | 77 | 45 |
| #4 | gB | +2.91 | 82 | 44 |
| #5 | Tatuujey | +2.87 | 78 | 48 |





