








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 822 | 28% |
| Smokes | 737 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 225 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,061 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_- | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | na1khou | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Juho Lärvikäinen | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -_- | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | na1khou | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | Juho Lärvikäinen | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juho Lärvikäinen | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | na1khou | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | -_- | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juho Lärvikäinen | 176 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | -_- | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | na1khou | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Odens Orava | +1.64 | 77 | 50 |
| #2 | na1khou | +0.74 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | -_- | +0.10 | 81 | 74 |
| #4 | Juho Lärvikäinen | -0.79 | 58 | 74 |





