








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 416 | 19% |
| Smokes | 609 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 684 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 505 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,541 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharlieAndCheese | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Moist Towel | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | Sulio | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CharlieAndCheese | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Moist Towel | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | Sulio | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moist Towel | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Sulio | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sulio | 158 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Moist Towel | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | CharlieAndCheese | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moist Towel | +1.13 | 58 | 50 |
| #2 | CharlieAndCheese | +0.35 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | Jah | -1.20 | 73 | 52 |
| #4 | Sulio | -1.46 | 51 | 79 |





