








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 537 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1398 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1175 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 555 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $304,116 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello dog | 55% | 60 |
| #2 | ༄♆༄ | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Mr Plenty✪ | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | JAN SEPLA | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Efraim Diveroli | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello dog | 55% | 60 |
| #2 | ༄♆༄ | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Mr Plenty✪ | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | JAN SEPLA | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Efraim Diveroli | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello dog | 11 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | Efraim Diveroli | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Mr Plenty✪ | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | JAN SEPLA | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ༄♆༄ | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Plenty✪ | 59 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hello dog | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | ༄♆༄ | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Efraim Diveroli | 30 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | JAN SEPLA | 24 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JAN SEPLA | +4.19 | 96 | 34 |
| #2 | Hello dog | +1.70 | 61 | 39 |
| #3 | money talks | +0.13 | 47 | 62 |
| #4 | Mr Plenty✪ | -0.51 | 44 | 41 |
| #5 | ༄♆༄ | -1.29 | 56 | 48 |





