








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 827 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6330 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6244 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3767 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5408 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,874,114 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Forza_MVT | 55% | 150 |
| #5 | m1kazu | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | Povee- | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | Yak1ro | 53% | 219 |
| #8 | Gamani | 50% | 52 |





