








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2141 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3372 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3441 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1695 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2611 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,042 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lunar | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Neil Tate | 56% | 168 |
| #3 | Beast | 55% | 211 |
| #4 | The system | 52% | 248 |
| #5 | Abo Sabri | 50% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The system | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Beast | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Neil Tate | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Abo Sabri | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ツ The Hunter ツ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The system | 1012 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | Beast | 833 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #3 | Neil Tate | 693 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | ツ The Hunter ツ | 163 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | 007 | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The system | +2.52 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | Lunar | +1.32 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | Neil Tate | +1.20 | 60 | 65 |
| #4 | GAFFFFS | +0.16 | 72 | 55 |
| #5 | Beast | +0.06 | 65 | 63 |





