








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 184 | 10% |
| Smokes | 481 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 804 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 305 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $58,637 of utility $28 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stick | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | Frezxy | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Abaddon | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Swirly McGuster | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frezxy | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Abaddon | 30% | 10 |
| #5 | Swirly McGuster | 29% | 7 |
| #6 | Nafty | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stick | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Frezxy | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Abaddon | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stick | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Swirly McGuster | 28 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Frezxy | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Abaddon | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stick | +4.47 | 56 | 48 |
| #2 | Abaddon | +2.15 | 60 | 34 |
| #3 | Swirly McGuster | -0.68 | 41 | 59 |
| #4 | Nafty | -0.71 | 63 | 41 |
| #5 | | -1.71 | 56 | 44 |





