








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1387 | 39% |
| Smokes | 932 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 585 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,675 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-REX | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Bigodinho | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Floki | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Sheitaniña | 35% | 40 |
| #5 | Kose | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Floki | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | Sheitaniña | 35% | 40 |
| #5 | Kose | 31% | 13 |
| #6 | Mehdicevic | 18% | 11 |
| #7 | Je t'ai eu | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kose | 4 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Je t'ai eu | 2 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | Floki | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kose | 78 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bigodinho | 35 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #3 | T-REX | 35 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Je t'ai eu | 31 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Floki | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T-REX | +4.67 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | Je t'ai eu | +3.50 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | Bigodinho | +2.19 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | Golrinoth | +1.57 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Kose | +0.33 | 76 | 50 |





