








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2262 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1152 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 790 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 562 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $975,510 of utility $221 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 81 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gramz | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Thrax 666 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | JimmyBigNuts | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | alec_the_7 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | -- DYDRO1D | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JimmyBigNuts | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | alec_the_7 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | -- DYDRO1D | 54% | 91 |
| #6 | likho | 51% | 37 |
| #7 | Madaki Tha Funkey Dunkey Monkey | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -- DYDRO1D | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Thrax 666 | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | JimmyBigNuts | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Madaki Tha Funkey Dunkey Monkey | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | likho | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -- DYDRO1D | 277 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Madaki Tha Funkey Dunkey Monkey | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Gramz | 56 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | likho | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | alec_the_7 | 29 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JimmyBigNuts | +3.48 | 82 | 39 |
| #2 | -- DYDRO1D | +1.42 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | ᵀᴿᴬᴾᴾ | +0.91 | 80 | 49 |
| #4 | Gramz | +0.42 | 69 | 53 |
| #5 | Thrax 666 | -0.02 | 74 | 58 |





