








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,600 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2403 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4490 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3837 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3870 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,227 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreary | 57% | 49 |
| #2 | MAD | 53% | 95 |
| #3 | ⓖⓟ | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | Moosky†Noob | 47% | 162 |
| #5 | Jampy's - pocok1351 | 44% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MAD | 53% | 95 |
| #3 | ⓖⓟ | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | Moosky†Noob | 47% | 162 |
| #5 | Jampy's - pocok1351 | 44% | 34 |
| #6 | Nasi | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAD | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Moosky†Noob | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Jampy's - pocok1351 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | ⓖⓟ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Dreary | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MAD | 312 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Moosky†Noob | 175 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dreary | 88 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nasi | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jampy's - pocok1351 | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreary | +2.11 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | MAD | +1.34 | 56 | 66 |
| #3 | Nasi | +0.94 | 77 | 55 |
| #4 | Kodein | -0.32 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | Moosky†Noob | -0.65 | 45 | 58 |





