








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7255 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5009 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4460 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3928 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4316 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,738,330 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frodo Fraggins | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | UrinateOnMyAnkle | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | prettyglonky | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | PEARL_JAM | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deserted | 378 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #2 | Child1sh | 375 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Frodo Fraggins | 241 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | PEARL_JAM | 137 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Titus | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |





