








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1009 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4219 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3765 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1911 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2316 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,380 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1016 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tonton | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | BIG ASS TRUCK | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | Frankie Lasagna | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | small sandwich and finger | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Jason Spezza | 45% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tonton | 7 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Jason Spezza | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Gastino | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Frankie Lasagna | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | good vibes haver | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frankie Lasagna | +4.28 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | John Thicc | +3.74 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | good vibes haver | +3.74 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | tonton | -0.16 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | Gastino | -0.85 | 50 | 37 |





