










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3677 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2821 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2588 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1804 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,365,176 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ✪ Jobident | 47% | 182 |
| #4 | Mjöw ツ | 43% | 40 |
| #5 | Skibidi Madar | 40% | 65 |
| #6 | DatPingDoe | 38% | 88 |
| #7 | suhh duude | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Jobident | 16 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | DatPingDoe | 13 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Skibidi Madar | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Mjöw ツ | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | suhh duude | 6 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DatPingDoe | 256 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jobident | 230 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Skibidi Madar | 140 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mjöw ツ | 97 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | suhh duude | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lolimon1337 | +1.75 | 79 | 44 |
| #2 | Mjöw ツ | +1.69 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | ✪ Jobident | -0.09 | 92 | 62 |
| #4 | suhh duude | -0.69 | 86 | 64 |
| #5 | DatPingDoe | -0.82 | 47 | 58 |





