








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1460 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1968 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1929 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2565 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,141,057 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 488 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mastuhhh | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | 𝔇𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳. | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | A | 43% | 69 |
| #4 | Bottom Fraggot | 42% | 142 |
| #5 | Hunter | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bottom Fraggot | 288 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | A | 125 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Mastuhhh | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𝔇𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳. | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hunter | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝔇𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳. | +2.32 | 67 | 38 |
| #2 | A | +2.04 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | 3 Bean Soup | +1.88 | 59 | 43 |
| #4 | Mastuhhh | +1.05 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | Hunter | -1.29 | 38 | 2 |





