










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1967 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2725 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2207 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2068 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $813,719 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novic | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Vai | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | teenie pickleton 🥒 | 51% | 88 |
| #4 | gigi | 42% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novic | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Vai | 55% | 31 |
| #3 | teenie pickleton 🥒 | 51% | 88 |
| #4 | gigi | 42% | 163 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teenie pickleton 🥒 | 20 | 0.0151 |
| #2 | Novic | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Vai | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | gigi | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gigi | 69 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Vai | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | teenie pickleton 🥒 | 60 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Novic | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Novic | +2.19 | 84 | 10 |
| #2 | Sussy♿︎Baka | +1.54 | 56 | 60 |
| #3 | Vai | +0.29 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | teenie pickleton 🥒 | -0.12 | 40 | 41 |
| #5 | gigi | -0.96 | 34 | 50 |





