










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1591 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2341 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2971 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2173 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $625,677 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 499 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βοΈ Kwik Fit | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Kus | 49% | 106 |
| #3 | John Glorp | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βοΈ Kwik Fit | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | Kus | 49% | 106 |
| #3 | John Glorp | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βοΈ Kwik Fit | 12 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | Kus | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | John Glorp | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kus | 583 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #2 | John Glorp | 253 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| #3 | βοΈ Kwik Fit | 169 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koszmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | +3.04 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Kus | -0.73 | 48 | 53 |
| #3 | βοΈ Kwik Fit | -1.76 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | John Glorp | -2.64 | 61 | 54 |





