










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
948 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 34% |
| Smokes | 880 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 951 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 911 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,824 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鬼 Oni | 4 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鬼 Oni | 98 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cherry | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Smug Druggles #ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | 28 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | あなたのクソ神 | 17 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hevyous | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | あなたのクソ神 | +3.39 | 66 | 49 |
| #2 | 鬼 Oni | +2.45 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | saltimbocca | +1.55 | 76 | 70 |
| #4 | Señor Timon | -0.20 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | Smug Druggles #ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ | -0.43 | 44 | 78 |





