










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
92 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 62 | 40% |
| Smokes | 23 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 40 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 31 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,000 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ankan | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ✪ Rylon | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Larry TG1MZ | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ✪ Hugormen | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ankan | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | ✪ Rylon | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Larry TG1MZ | 33% | 6 |
| #4 | ✪ Hugormen | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry TG1MZ | 2 | 0.0194 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Larry TG1MZ | 20 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #2 | ✪ Rylon | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #3 | ✪ Ankan | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | ✪ Hugormen | 1 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Ankan | +18.44 | 90 | 40 |
| #2 | ✪ Rylon | +0.43 | 82 | 43 |
| #3 | Gunillas exxxx make | -1.43 | 75 | 32 |
| #4 | Larry TG1MZ | -2.67 | 45 | 30 |
| #5 | ✪ Hugormen | -4.07 | 68 | 27 |





