








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2254 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 865 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1229 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 703 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 881 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $768,178 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tennoir | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | BABYfuckinJOE | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | -C | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Dr. Glimpin | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | paulfav | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tennoir | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | BABYfuckinJOE | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | -C | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Dr. Glimpin | 53% | 77 |
| #5 | paulfav | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Glimpin | 18 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | paulfav | 12 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | -C | 4 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | tennoir | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | BABYfuckinJOE | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tennoir | 186 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | -C | 143 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | paulfav | 119 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dr. Glimpin | 102 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | BABYfuckinJOE | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tennoir | +3.43 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | Ryting | +1.85 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | -C | +0.80 | 73 | 53 |
| #4 | BABYfuckinJOE | -0.17 | 72 | 64 |
| #5 | Dr. Glimpin | -2.68 | 73 | 34 |





