








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 34% |
| Smokes | 980 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 582 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 602 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,086 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | kluvzg | 41% | 41 |
| #12 | PartyHardy | 39% | 33 |
| #13 | radiojuniors | 39% | 18 |
| #14 | sprite | 35% | 17 |
| #15 | fuckout | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sprite | 5 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | kluvzg | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | WIPSKYio | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | hermis | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | grubik | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hermis | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | WIPSKYio | 148 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | kluvzg | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | PartyHardy | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | sprite | 29 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daniel-san | +2.03 | 94 | 73 |
| #2 | kluvzg | +1.43 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | sprite | +1.25 | 66 | 55 |
| #4 | grubik | +1.09 | 69 | 58 |
| #5 | WIPSKYio | +0.74 | 71 | 61 |





