










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
118 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 75 | 21% |
| Smokes | 17 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 194 | 53% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $62,366 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desh | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | sheff | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Peachy | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | b0lar | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Broholmen | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sheff | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | b0lar | 2 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | Peachy | 2 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | Marcusbu | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0lar | 43 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Peachy | 40 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | sheff | 35 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Marcusbu | 33 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Desh | 14 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bROHOLM | +11.11 | 97 | 74 |
| #2 | Peachy | +10.96 | 63 | 56 |
| #3 | sheff | +10.11 | 69 | 52 |
| #4 | b0lar | +6.12 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | Desh | +4.49 | 46 | 72 |





