








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4142 | 66% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 406 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 545 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,828 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dastefah | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Mr.Sharky | 27% | 44 |
| #3 | Ryota | 24% | 17 |
| #4 | แฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฏรฑยง แฆ | 14% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dastefah | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Mr.Sharky | 27% | 44 |
| #3 | Ryota | 24% | 17 |
| #4 | แฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฏรฑยง แฆ | 14% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Sharky | 13 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | แฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฏรฑยง แฆ | 6 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Ryota | 4 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | dastefah | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Sharky | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | แฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฏรฑยง แฆ | 108 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | dastefah | 51 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ryota | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dastefah | +4.90 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | แฆ ๐๐ฅ๐ฌ๐ฏรฑยง แฆ | +3.66 | 44 | 64 |
| #3 | Ryota | +2.48 | 71 | 20 |
| #4 | MR Amba | -2.26 | 1 | 50 |
| #5 | Mr.Sharky | -3.27 | 13 | 48 |





